I was sat in my car earlier, knitting, waiting for Flynn to come out of school, it was pouring with rain (again), Taylor Swift was playing quietly. I was thinking about the weekend and how Lily and I were going to spend our boy free time. Then it dawned on me not only were the weekends coming around super fast but today was the last day of month one, The month of new beginnings.
And now let us welcome the New Year
full of things that that have never been.
Rainer Maria Rilke
That's 31 days or 744 hours of my life over.
Did I make the most of them.?
Did I live in the moments, and not in the past or in the future?
I'm not sure that I did.
I do believe that life around here, especial my life is lived very haphazardly. It's not that I'm really busy, I'm probably one of the luckiest ladies in the world when it comes to free time. I don't work, I don't have a husband, and I live in a new house that doesn't really get that dirty. However I can not help but think that the house is a reflection of how my days are passing it's pretty chaotic around here, it's rather untidy and nothing seems to be very organised. I was always such a tidy person almost to the point of having OCD before my life was turned upside down. Now one day just seems to merge into the next. Hours, days, weeks just seem to happen.
Then this happens, I have one small moment when I remember to stop, I mean really stop and take a deep breath and it's then I realize another 31 new beginnings have passed and I can barely remember any of what has happened in these passed days.
So I need to change, I want to change.
I want to start living consciously, being awake with intention.
Being mindful every day.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, so if anyone is reading this and has any suggestions I'd love to hear them.
Anyway I'm going to do this and it starts tomorrow.
This weekend I'm going to make the moments count.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend